Book Review

7 Types of Readers


Hello Everyone. There are two things that I am sure of: one, this topic is long overdue and two, I am pretty sure someone is just about to fall into one of these types of readers. Here are my list of 7 types or categories of readers. Enjoy!

  1. Shopper Reader. This sort of reader craves new books like food and the smell of new books excites him like any other addiction. He just derives pleasure in buying books to release the feel good hormones that make him feel as if he just accomplished something grand. Meanwhile, he makes sure he shows off his new aquisitions to his friends before taking them home to stack in the shelf. By the way, his shelf is the grave yard for those books because they will never be read after that day. The books wither away and wait to be willed off to their grandchildren (or sold  off with the house, which ever comes first). How much does a shopper reader spend on books annually? I don’t know, but my rough guess is, TOO MUCH. If you are not going to read a book, you might as well donate the money to the Foundation for Research on Corruption and Military Government which apparently, does not exist! Now I know a lot of you will argue with me on this, but what is the point of buying a book you never get to read. Moving on, instead of buying yourself another book, how about reading the ones on the shelf (oops I think I just said something nasty). The second type of shopper reader is a cheap skate shopper. He can buy hundreds of books, as longs as it’s on sale below a dollar. Only to realize while unpacking the books at home that the books were meant for the opposite sex, was too irrelevant or was written by his worst authors.
  2. Erratic Reader: this guy just picks a book and you can bet that he will never finish it. He has loads of books on his shelf that he has not finished.He picks a book, reads it half way and dumps it. He has a masters in excuses for not finishing any book. Unless there is a cash prize on finishing the book or he truly idolizes the author, this reader loves unfinished business and he simply has a lot of them on his table. When asked which book he is reading, he will tell you about 3- 5 books. Trust me, he will be reading those same books for some months. He literally can’ wait to read the next book, so he dumps this one and gets on with another book and then dumps that one too weeks later. He is like a person who hates cold tea, he gets bored and spit it out when the tea starts getting cold. He is so excited at the beginning of the book and tells everyone in his neighborhood about this great book he started reading, but trust me, he wont get past chapter five. I’m sure he never knows what happens at the end. His relationships with a books don’t last past midnight, he would give Cinderella a run for her glass shoes.
  3. Unlike the erratic reader, the browser’s relationships with books don’t last beyond the first chapter or the foreword. He is lazy and only reads the book to get people off his case.or to claim that he has also read the book when in reality, he only read the foreword. With little interest in really knowing what the book has to offer, He only wants to fit into the reading clique, when he definitely belongs in the browsing lounge.
  4. The Bad Glue: this is the most annoying reader, he just read one book the entire year. Ever had a sibling who just sat at the dinning table all morning trying to finish one bowl of cereal? When everyone else is having their launch, they are still slowly  slurping on their cold milk? Well, this reader basically does this with every book they pick up. It would take  months for them to complete one book. Occasionally they add another book to the mill and read at snail speed. They never have the focus or determination to complete it. Matter of fact, the bookmark has been abandoned on one page for so long it starts to glue to the page. Please don’t borrow your book to the glue, you won’t get it back in a couple of months.
  5. The Good Glue: he sticks to a book and reads it till it is completed rarely dropping it. You can hardly get this guy to leave his book to do something else. He just loves finishing what he starts to the detriment of other things he should be doing with his life like socializing, cooking, or starting a business.
  6. The Borrowing Reader: this guy loves books, no doubts, enough to steal them not buy them. You will never ever get back your book from this guy, even if you threaten to hold his father to ransom. By the way, this guy has been borrow-stealing books since 1988, so how on earth are you going to catch him. Even if you go to his house to recover his loot, you will discover dozens of books belonging to other victims like you. This guy is moral, don’t get me wrong. He has the mindset of borrowing when he comes to get the book from you but decides to keep it for a few, weeks, months, years and then he says, well I have had this book for 5 years and the owner has moved out of town and even forgotten about the book, I might as well keep it. No remorse, after all, it is only just a book. Now if you have ever done this, please return the book, I repeat, return the book. I am sure you are thinking, how come there are only 6 types of readers and all of them are bad readers, and you’re thinking, ‘I am a good reader.’  Well don’t worry, you are an example of the next reader.
  7. The Good Guy: This guy is a focused reader. He sets out his reading goals for the year, let’s say 12 books a year. Then he goes to the bookstore, actually buys the books or borrows from a friend with an intention to return in a few weeks, reads the book and he keeps a journal of what he has read. He then finds out new books he can read when he has finished the ones on his reading list. 


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